I refuse
To be used
Like wasted time
And Id hate
To relate
To an untamed mind
So I dont
And I wont
I’d rather pick up and go
take my thoughts and my heart
To a place you don’t know
Forget you and ya false hopes
Ya fake dreams
And sweet talk
The unintentional acts upon
The interest you caused
And before this game is played
I pause
I refuse to play games at all
I won’t stand tall while you stall
You’re indecisive won’t be righteous
towards placing me at your call
That’s comical
You’re irrelevant
It’s clear your thoughts are hella bent
And personally
Im sick of it
And the selfish expressions
Once again anotha life lesson
To neva let a man speak his vision
if his intentions have no intention to encourage a mission
A pursuit
An attempt
A simple try
Instead they give me reason to ask them why
What was your point
Was there a purpose
You tease me with possibilities
What did I do to deserve this
rudeness
Bitter sweet
Yet verbally abusive
Recognize without action
Ya words become useless…
1N/.MILYN
4/19/13
On my mind heavy
Gotta say these thoughts are steady
Subconsciously getting ready… for whateva.
The modest way to describes us being togetha… foreva?
The possibility sends chills through me
Its been years since anything felt real to me
I even told myself I wouldnt write related poetry
Jinxing the hopes and could be’s
It blows my mind
How I feel this time
But my conscience steady keeps my hopes in line
The last thing I need is another self-misguided situation
I rather sit next to faith
And wait with patience
Simply contemplating…
You know that day where everything feels right?
That RARE day
From the moment you see sunlight
You’re overcome with joy
It’s practically impossible to simply avoid
The simple crack of a smile
on the inside you’re cheesin’ all day
And there’s absolutely nothing anybody can say
That will shoot you down off the 9th cloud
you caught a ride from
Haters hatin’ cuz they not sittin on what you’re flying on
As random as this feeling is
You don’t care
Everything ain’t perfect
Right now
You feel you’re living
And for once… Life is worth it
~Jhazzie
1/23/13
I wanna hear your sigh of pleasure
As I make your day feel better
With my body pressure
Pressed again your chest
I want to feel you at your best
Relax
Deep breath
And let me do the rest
Feel my hands caress
As my lips massage your neck
From the right side
To the left
Pause.
It’s nothing more
And nothing less
Than my all.
The biggest thing you deserve.
Now sit back
Chillax
And embrace what you’ve earned. You’ve been nothin but patient
Past patient
Understanding
So now its over you I’m standing
I can hear you panting
Personal bass from heart beats
Tight grabs
Wrinkled sheets
Curled toes
Touched feet
We finally meet…
Our deeper levels connect
Our souls combine
As well as our flesh
Balancing the weight
On my hand to the left.
Your lips on my lips
I can feel you smile
For this moment
We’ve both been waiting a while
And the timing couldn’t be more perfect Flipped shades
Closed curtains
Intimate setting
Floral bedding
Arms and legs spreading
Our bodies sweating
Skin shedding their own tears because this feels so right
Marking this night
As husband and wife…
© Jhazzie 8/18/11
Just because you see me, doesn’t mean in really here.
Mentally I’m far away, even when I’m near.
Just because I’m in this world, doesn’t mean I’m living.
And even though I haven’t lost, it doesn’t mean I’m winning.
But why is this beginning?
Episodes of my soul leaving my body to roam.
My heart craving fulfillment from a place once called home.
And what unselfish being would mention lack of attention as a factor.
But when you’re consistently insight and forgotten, what else would you be after?
Like a puzzle piece in the wrong box, I just don’t seem to fit.
Would I truly be giving up if I decide to call it quits?
When it comes to friends and family, it looks as if I have plenty
So how is it even possible to feel alone in a group of many?
9/23/12
It’s days like this
I wish
Ish like this
Didn’t exist
The perfect temp from clouds of mist
Reminding me of your gentle kiss
and I cant resist
the image that sits.
Refusing to move
My eyes forced to picture me & you
and what we used to do
and how we used to move
chill vibe & slow grove
from bright sun ‘til full moon
I hope this feeling fades soon
The reopening of a healed wound…
**1N/.MILYN**
7/17/12
**NOTE: BRYCE AND HARMONY ARE SISTERS. I’LL LET YAALLLL DECIDE WHO’S SHERLLZ AND WHO’S BRITT-BRATT.
“Bryce, I want you to know that I will never ever forgive you for this sh*t!,” Harmony blurted out in anger, “Tomorrow I’m taking all those ugly a** wigs, especially the one you have on because it looks like Dorothy’s house from the Wizard of Oz fell on your d** head, and burning them out behind the barn.”
“You and what army h*e?” Bryce questioned. “Touch my wigs, Harmony and I’ll tell Daddy what REALLY happened.”
…..(skip a few paragraphs)….
“Bryce, all I have to say is, I can’t wait until I go away to college. I’m leaving you California and all of your drama behind. I’m going to the East Coast. Probably Howard University in D.C.”
“That’s cool,” Bryce hissed. “So you’ll have a three year head start but I WILL follow you. You’ll never get rid of me. NOT EVER! When you take one of those big gigantic, elephantine dumps like the ones you have after you eat Momma’s sticky oatmeal for breakfast, I’m going to be there to smell it!”
**THIS ISH HAD ME WEEEAAKKK!!! IT WAS LIKE I WAS READING MY TIMELINE!! LMBO!! GOTTA LOVE THOSE TRICKS!!**
I told myself I wouldn’t write about a ni**a
But I figure
My thoughts are getting bigger
I should write ‘em down
before my heart gets any bitter.
The questions of does he?
Will he? Or will we?
Fear
Suspense
They kill me
What will God’s will be?
I try to fight these feelings
With everything that’s in me
But its everything that’s in me
That’s ready to simply end me.
Giving up to fall in
Is far from the agenda
And its certainly hard to forget to remember
Many memories
He’s given me
Alive dreams
Reality
The simple things.
The simple things are str8 turn ons
I surprise myself when we’re still chillin with clothes on
Nicca got me tempted to bend and flex my marriage rule
His actions got me ready to bend and flex the master room
My heart’s been touched too much to ignore and let it pass
I said I wouldn’t do it
But here I am…
Alone in my zone
Writing about his a**
*jhazzie*
Sat. 9/10/11 ©
